With the rise of self-driving vehicles, eventually there will be a country song about how your truck left you too
Sunday, December 17, 2017
check engine
My "check engine" light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there...silly light.
non alcoholic beer
Seriously whats the point of non alcoholic beer.....its like a vibrator without batteries. Whats the fun if you cant get a buzz going ??
purchase the Home Shopping Network
QVC has agreed to purchase the Home Shopping
Network for around $2 Billion...OR just 100,250,627 easy payments of $19.95!
Network for around $2 Billion...OR just 100,250,627 easy payments of $19.95!
grades in school
Somehow we got talking about grades in school how it got brought up I dont know but one thing is for sure. The closest I ever got to a 4.0 was my blood alcohol content.
hang out sometime
If you run into someone you know and they say "we should hang out sometime", say "I'm ready to hang out now" and watch them panic.
complaining about being broke
Ever notice the people who spend the most money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well? At least thats what I think anyways......
earning respect
I wish people in this world would put as much effort into earning respect as they do demanding it.
put a ring on it.
You lost your phone and it's on silent? Too bad. If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it.
be in kindergarten
I just want to read, have a snack, then take a nap. Basically, I just want to be in kindergarten again.
chicago will shoot back
North Korea got missile that can reach Chicago,,, be carefull North Korea chicago will shoot back.....just sayin!!
Costco worker
Pet Peeve 107: You dont have laser eye vision Costco worker so when you look in my cart you arent doing anything special , but using your Black Sharpie to mess up my receipt!!
I've never counted on Dave
I will be the first to admit "I've never counted on Dave" for anything. Not even the weather!!!
Make easy money
I love those signs you see on telephone poles that say Work from home! Make easy money! Be your own boss and make your own hours! Which makes me wonder, if its so easy why is someone out there busting their ass hanging signs?
half-empty
Have a great weekend & be safe everyone. Also Remember: Never look at your beer as half-empty. Look at it as you’re halfway to your next beer.
noodles
🤣 You know with all the political crap going on Right now I just want to let everyone know I just made Romney noodles Obama self.wait your turn
I don't care how important you think you are. You should do what you learned in kindergarten and be patient and wait your turn
total eclipse
You ready ? ? ......Seriously you ready for the bad joke of the day ?? Here you go:
What do you call it when you fall in love on Aug. 21, 2017?
What do you call it when you fall in love on Aug. 21, 2017?
A total eclipse of the heart. (Your Welcome)
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