Friends

Jon Benny Benson

35 mins · 

I might not have all the friends I used to have when I was younger, but the ones I have now will be the ones who will help me through thick and thin. I will always be the smart ass that says stupid things. I won't change anything, but most of you know I would do anything for you!

State Farm

Jon Benny Benson

1 hr · 

Why is that dude chatting with Jake from State Farm at three in the morning anyhow?

Facebook

Jon Benny Benson

August 29, 2011 · 

I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody" so when someone posts something stupid, I can click like and it will say "Nobody Likes This."

Pedophiles

Jon Benny Benson

August 31, 2011 · 

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…

Jelly fish

Jon Benny Benson

September 2, 2011 · 

Go piss on a friend. They may have been stung by a jellyfish & are too embarrassed to ask for help. You'll be a hero.

Elderly Woman

Jon Benny Benson

September 4, 2011 · 

An elderly woman at an ATM asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Yup, she needs a walker!

Money

Jon Benny Benson

September 6, 2011 · 

is wondering.... if money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

Pulled over

Jon Benny Benson

September 7, 2011 · 

discovered today that when a police officer says, "Sir, your eyes look red. Have you been drinking?", you should never respond with "Officer, your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?".

Pandas

Jon Benny Benson

September 8, 2011 · 

Man...I love pandas, there so chill. There like "Dude racism is stupid, im white, black and asian!"

Guess

Jon Benny Benson

September 14, 2011 · 

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

I wanna Watch

Jon Benny Benson

September 15, 2011 · 

i got a rolex from the lesbians next door for a thank you gift. i think they misunderstood when i told them, ""i wanna watch""

Beer Toast

Jon Benny Benson

October 15, 2011 · 

Zigi Wilf Zigy Wilf.....Aoye Aoye Ayoe!!

Wrong with our culture

Jon Benny Benson

November 22, 2011 · 

Here's what's wrong with our culture. In the press there are more articles about "Black Friday" than about Thanksgiving.

Day Off

Jon Benny Benson If you bowl like crap you can't blame me! 😀 Only thing I noticed on my day off is I can respond quicker to game requests!

January 12 at 8:11pm · Like

Rob Lowe

Jon Benny Benson

January 12 at 8:50pm · 

Hi I'm Rob Lowe, & I'm meathead Rob Lowe

Netflix

Jon Benny Benson

January 15 at 1:41pm · 

We used to walk around blockbuster for an hour before deciding, now we do the same thing scrolling Netflix,I now have access to even more movies yet less I want to watch.

Coffee

Jon Benny Benson

January 23 at 12:51pm · 

Holiday Coffee far Superior over S. A. Just my random fact for the day!

Moms Birthday

Jon Benny Benson

January 24 at 12:51am · 

Happy B Day Mama.... Looking forward to treating you out to Early Dinner at Benihana this Afternoon!! 

~Love your idiotic Son 

Super Bowl

Jon Benny Benson

2 mins · 

Did I miss all the why didn't he run the ball comments yet