Saturday, November 21, 2015
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
fantastic life
Jon Benny Benson
March 11 · Plymouth, MN ·
Just want to thank the people who have walked into my life and made it great. And also thank you to those who have walked out and made it fantastic!
2020 vision
Jon Benny Benson
March 20 ·
I hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in five years time. Seriously, I don't have 2020 vision
wash Hands
Jon Benny Benson
April 12 at 9:26pm ·
I was in a bathroom and I saw a sign that said employees must wash hands. I waited a minute and no one came to wash my hands so I did it myself.
Beer Truck
Jon Benny Benson
April 21 at 5:58pm ·
Saw a ice cream truck go down Louisiana a few minutes ago & thought these damn lucky Lil kids get all the fun. When is a beer truck gonna come around for the Adults now???
fastest phone
Jon Benny Benson
April 29 at 2:20pm ·
Pretty sure I got fastest phone on the market. Made it from my chair too the wall in no time!!
Mayweather
Jon Benny Benson
9 hrs ·
Everyone's complaining about Mayweather, but the weather hasn't even been that bad out this month!
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Snow
Jon Benny Benson
February 10 ·
Snow is like people: a little bit can be beautiful, too much sucks; and when it sticks around for too long it can make murdery feelings.
Billionaires
Jon Benny Benson
February 14 · Crystal, MN ·
It must suck when billionaires wake up feeling like a million bucks.
Morning
Jon Benny Benson
February 16 · Crystal, MN ·
I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”. If it were a good morning I’d still be in bed instead of talking to people.
crazy woman
Jon Benny Benson
February 17 · Robbinsdale, MN ·
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, “I’m not crazy!” and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
peachy coffee
Jon Benny Benson
February 22 · Crystal, MN ·
I just drank a cup of coffee after I got home and realized life is just peachy!!
Win her heart
Jon Benny Benson
March 2 · Crystal, MN ·
Making a woman laugh is one of the keys to winning her heart, unless she's laughing at your junk.
I Lied
Jon Benny Benson
March 7 at 11:44am ·
So I lied when I said I wasn't going to have a drink today!! — at Patrick McGovern's Pub.
Friend Circle
Jon Benny Benson
March 9 at 1:41pm · Crystal, MN ·
There comes a time when your friend circle decreases in size, but increases in value..!! smile emoticon
Thank the people
Jon Benny Benson
March 11 at 9:52pm · Plymouth, MN ·
Just want to thank the people who have walked into my life and made it great. And also thank you to those who have walked out and made it fantastic!
stalkers
Jon Benny Benson
March 12 at 10:20pm · Crystal, MN ·
Would like to say Good Night to my stalker(s)! I’ll try to update my status often so that your time spent stalking me won’t be wasted. Have a nice day, loser!
so many people
Jon Benny Benson
March 14 at 1:23pm · Crystal, MN ·
So many people… So few ways to tell them where to go.
3rd Period Magic
Jon Benny Benson
March 17 at 8:45pm · Crystal, MN ·
Wild better make that 3rd Period magic happen and if not I'm pushing a Leprechaun over and laughing!!!
NCAA Bracket
Jon Benny Benson
March 19 at 1:23pm · Crystal, MN ·
I read, like, 2 articles about basketball, so I'm feeling super confident about my bracket.
2020 Vision
Jon Benny Benson
March 20 at 10:30pm ·
I hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in five years time. Seriously, I don't have 2020 vision
Almond Milk
Jon Benny Benson
March 24 at 6:27pm · Crystal, MN ·
I bet it's called Almond Milk, because no one would buy Nut Juice.
You the Bomb
Jon Benny Benson
March 25 at 3:18pm · Crystal, MN ·
"You the bomb" "No you the bomb" Kind gesture in America. Argument in the Middle East.
the day I was Born
Jon Benny Benson
March 27 at 11:46am · Crystal, MN ·
Sometimes I just sit back and think about the day I was born. I was so surprised about it that I didn't even talk for a year n a half! #Life
Iam Awesome
Jon Benny Benson
Yesterday at 3:25pm ·
I am so awesome I should have theme music playing every time I enter a room.
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Green Beer
Jon Benny Benson
8 hrs · Crystal, MN · Edited ·
Saw someone drinking a green beer!! Must be some weird tradition people do once a year!!
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Hotel Fabreeze
Jon Benny Benson
March 6 at 12:38pm ·
Febreeze always a great option to bring when at Hotel with friends. Always that one that stinks up the room!! #Fartbrain
Monday, March 9, 2015
Friend circle
Jon Benny Benson
11 hrs · Crystal, MN ·
There comes a time when your friend circle decreases in size, but increases in value..!! smile emoticon
can't sleep
Jon Benny Benson
Can't sleep so watching Mens Figure Skating........hahaha just joshing you!!!
Friday, February 6, 2015
Friends
I might not have all the friends I used to have when I was younger, but the ones I have now will be the ones who will help me through thick and thin. I will always be the smart ass that says stupid things. I won't change anything, but most of you know I would do anything for you!
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Sunday, February 1, 2015
I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody" so when someone posts something stupid, I can click like and it will say "Nobody Likes This."
Jelly fish
Go piss on a friend. They may have been stung by a jellyfish & are too embarrassed to ask for help. You'll be a hero.
Elderly Woman
An elderly woman at an ATM asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Yup, she needs a walker!
Pulled over
discovered today that when a police officer says, "Sir, your eyes look red. Have you been drinking?", you should never respond with "Officer, your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?".
Pandas
Man...I love pandas, there so chill. There like "Dude racism is stupid, im white, black and asian!"
I wanna Watch
i got a rolex from the lesbians next door for a thank you gift. i think they misunderstood when i told them, ""i wanna watch""
Wrong with our culture
Here's what's wrong with our culture. In the press there are more articles about "Black Friday" than about Thanksgiving.
Day Off
Jon Benny Benson If you bowl like crap you can't blame me! 😀 Only thing I noticed on my day off is I can respond quicker to game requests!
Netflix
We used to walk around blockbuster for an hour before deciding, now we do the same thing scrolling Netflix,I now have access to even more movies yet less I want to watch.
We used to walk around blockbuster for an hour before deciding, now we do the same thing scrolling Netflix,I now have access to even more movies yet less I want to watch.
Moms Birthday
Happy B Day Mama.... Looking forward to treating you out to Early Dinner at Benihana this Afternoon!!
~Love your idiotic Son
Sunday, January 11, 2015
49ers
In breaking News: The 49'ers have just signed there New Head Coach.... HARBAUGH! Jon Harbaugh!!!
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
cold weather
Real mature cold weather.... Way to make my filling fall out or it was just all the stress at this long night at work!
Hangin w/Friiends
Realized I can't hang with my married friends or ones getting married.....guess there ladies think I will change them.... Hahaha f U!
Saturday, January 3, 2015
Minnesota Sports
Fed up with MN sports.... Our state should ban all sports and we should just cheer on Wisconsin sports...... YEAH!!!
Friday, January 2, 2015
New year 2015
Thanks for being a part of 2014! Let's look back on it! Ray Rice beat his wife, and nobody cared until they saw a video of Ray Rice beating his wife. We narrowly escaped Ebola. We all became obnoxiously aware of ALS by videos of people getting cold. Iggy Azalea was a thing. Bill Cosby and that guy from Seventh Heaven ruined childhoods. The letter "B" was taken out of the word "babe." While most other businesses mysteriously caught fire, screen printed T-shirt sales were a ten year high in Ferguson, MO.
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